One Hand Clapping..

A flintlock blunderbuss pistol (also called a ...

blunderbuss pistol Wikipedia)

I know – blogging! How ten years ago! a bit late to the technological party then, but never mind. I’m actually pretty reticent at social networking generally – more of a social voyeur than an active participant. I am on twitter and everything, but I have only tweeted five times and with every post I had a small panic attack before posting and have then spent the next few days on a permanent internal cringe. And I only have five followers! Two of whom are clearly sex workers of some description, one random Italian man whom I believe follows everyone on twitter, Strictly Come Dancing and my husband. I clearly should not be worrying this much. But writing things down does seem terrifyingly personal – particularly when it’s about me. So why on earth have I started this worrisome endeavour which I promise, puts the shits right up me.

Well you see I’ve had two children now. There have been entire rooms full of people having a good look at my nether regions when they were doing their Alien best. I breastfed for a while and so have had my tits out in practically every public venue within a ten mile radius of my house. I had to have a smear test 3 months after my first birth and was greeted by an apologetic nurse who explained they were training that day and would it be okay if a student nurse observed, obviously she realised what a personal procedure it was etc. etc. I replied that after giving birth it was the more the merrier and did she fancy inviting the receptionist in. To be honest it was just good to have multiple points of confirmation that nothing was still hanging out and flapping around. And so to be honest my personal boundaries have necessarily completely disappeared so why not just man up and put the rest out there.

There are basically two reasons why I wanted to start this. Firstly – I’ll be honest, I’ve started writing a bit in the small gaps of time when not working, wiping a child’s bum or sleeping. And I figure maintaining a blog will help with the discipline required to regularly write. Secondly – I spend a lot of my time ranting at the moment with friends, husband, strangers in the street, telesales people and anyone else who might listen to me about parenting/being a lady type issues. My husband struggles to maintain interest at the best of times and frankly I really need some other kind of outlet. If anyone else does happen to read it and it helps them through some issues that they might be facing then so much the better.

I hope to update fairly regularly and it would be great to take some people with me for the ride. I will be a bit honest about things before we start. I grew up in Ireland and therefore swear a lot. There’s a certain Thick of It charm to be had in a truly descriptive rollercoaster of a sweary rant. I am however fairly anti ‘angry swearing’ – the red in the face with a little bit of spittle abuse that tends to come out before a fight outside our local wetherspoons – it just sucks all the joy right out of it. There will then, most certainly be a bit of blue just to warn those of a sensitive disposition. There is also a strong likelihood that any content is likely to be ill researched and generally based on my own experience and that of a small circle of people around me, it will always only be my own opinion and I have no problem if your own should differ wildly. Finally I am a very lazy grammarian and I will have a heavy usage of hyphens and exclamation marks spread widely across anything I write. There will however never – not once! – be an emoticon.



About blunderbussme

Muddling through life, work and motherhood with crazy eyes and a bit of sick in my hair (not always my own).
This entry was posted in Parenting, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to One Hand Clapping..

  1. Phil says:

    So you haven’t changed at all since kids. Took me a while to get past your description in the top right corner – ‘With a bit of drinking..’ – thought I was on the wrong page.

  2. katalog says:

    I wanted to thank you for this very good read!!
    I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you book marked to check out new stuff you post…

Please distract me from my children... please!

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